Lately, I have been thinking a lot about love. No particular reason why, as I am not currently in love. But I enjoy musing on what I think it could be like. Maybe all the movies and love songs have idealized it for me, but I am in love with the idea of being in love. I want all that cuteness, the cheesy and the truly romantic. One day I’ll have it, that I don’t doubt. Maybe that’s why I love pick up lines and serenades. I am dying to find the right guy and be in love. But I’m in no hurry, I’m willing to wait for the right person. And while we’re on this topic, I really do think that you can meet your soul mate at any time. You never know who might be absolutely perfect for you. Unfortunately, it might be the wrong time, or you also might not notice until it is much too late (as was my case). Hopefully, it will work itself out in the end. Because if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.
This brings me to the topic of love songs, romance novels, and films that have gushy romances involved. I don’t know about all of you, but I just love it. Don’t get me wrong, on my bad days they just make me sad and ask why I don’t get to have that right now. But I know my time is coming, so I will wait patiently. In the meantime, I will watch 10 Things I Hate About You and wish that I had a boy who would sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” and dance on the bleachers for me. Or sing along to The Beach Boys, “God Only Knows” and wish that a certain person was singing it to me. Or “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol, the love song I didn’t realize at first was a love song. Films also make me want what in my mind would be a perfect relationship, like Carl and Ellie from Up. So in love, even as cartoons. I know that entertainment gives us an idealized version of love, but maybe that is what we as a society needs. An unreal perfect standard to live up to. I will spend my entire life trying to find someone as perfect for me as my favorite characters do in novels and movies. My heart will always go mushy for things like this, and maybe one day I’ll get it too. And yes, I realize that love isn’t always this way, and that a lot of the time big gestures never happen. But I’ll settle for a guy grabbing my hand, or pushing my hair back when it get in my eyes. I don’t need a huge gesture, I just want to be feel cared about.
Love isn’t based on any of this, and I don’t pretend to understand love. I just know that it is something I want to experience one day. I want to find the person who makes my heart jump out of my chest and the butterflies to explode in my stomach. And hopefully, one day I will. Until then, I’ll just keep singing.
"I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you"
- Beach Boys
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