Rant.

I honestly cannot stand that people can act one way to your face and another way entirely when you are not around. I also hate that people have this need to pretend to be nice, but have a lilt of dislike in their voice when they speak to you. Just be real. If you don't like me, whatever but stop pretending because all it does is make me want to cry. I am starting to feel as though no one really likes me, and that I am here for everyone to poke fun at, but not to be long lasting good friends. I am the convenience friend, and it is driving me MAD. What did I do to deserve to be walked all over? I am fine being on my own, but I am terrified that I have doomed myself to be alone for the rest of my life. Being independent doesn't mean I don't want to be around people. Being different shouldn't be such a sin. I am starting to worry that something is wrong with me. It's scaring the living daylights out of me, I just want to be loved. Is that too much to ask?

I feel like crying. I miss the feeling of not worrying about people. I miss the people I could count on. I am terrified to transfer and have to start all over. What if I don't make any friends? What if I never find a guy, and I stay this abstinent, never been kissed loser forever? AGH. I am scared, guys.  Why is the future so scary? Okay, end of rant.